Text Terror! At present, texting is in the 38-50 percentile as a means of communication and is available to anyone with a mobile phone and access to a signal. We can group text, and this is where one wants to be careful. One-on-one texts are very clear about who is texting whom. Adding even one person to create a three-party text group can seriously complicate matters if you mix and don't match. Rather than explain how, please allow me to demonstrate.
Mack, Kate, and I are a text threesome. The full name Mack appears in the text column, Kate and I underneath as little circles, one with a K on it, and the other with a B on it. When you read the dialogue below, know that it's Wednesday, and I think I'm texting Mack about picking him up for our regular weekly lunch.
Me: You ready yet, Porky? No reply...
Me: Get that fat ass ready, I'm on the way! No reply...
Me: Are you even going today? I'm three inches from your effing driveway!
Reply: No. We are playing cards on Friday at 1 o'clock.
Me: I already know that. What about lunch today?
Reply: No, we can't go to lunch. We have other things. Thank you, though.
Me: It's really nice of you to let me know when I'm almost in your living room!
Reply: Thanks, we would have invited you but thought you were having lunch with Mack.
Holey Cheezeit!!! I'd been texting sweet Kate instead of a**hole buddy, Mack! Remember how I started with 'Porky' and 'fat ass'? She's neither, which almost makes it worse. I raced to my computer and texted from it:
'Kate, did I leave my phone at your place yesterday? I can find it anywhere.'
She's no dummy and texted, 'Why no, I haven't seen it. Have you tried calling it?' I had to text 'yes' to prevent having my intellect shredded worse than she likely suspected it already was. She is good and kind, let me off the hook with, 'It hasn't rung over here....and re-hooked me with 'unless you sneaked downstairs and dropped in the toilet yesterday.'
I knew she was on to me, nothing to do but text, 'I just found it, the damn thing was hidden in my pocket! I'm looking at it now and don't know how, but someone has been doing some idiot texting on it, it's weird, I'm baffled...' She texted back, 'I'm baffled too, but agree about 'some idiot' texting on it! See you Friday'.
Sitting here reflecting on how to close, I'm thinking the 'fat ass' route is the one to travel. Having one myself gives me the excuse, if overheard saying it, of explaining it as blithering to myself at best, or projecting my own problem onto someone else at worst. There's the avenue of not saying it at all but having been called one several hundred times per week for fifteen years, it's kinda stuck with me. Warmest regards, stay safe and well, best from Bob!