Good morning. I left you yesterday at the onset of an impending lawsuit between body parts, with the upper part, the amorphous mass above my gut button, threatening the lower part. i.e., big butt and beanpole legs, for non-support. Treating both parties to copious amounts of pie (pizza and peach) calmed the acrimony to the stage that they actually slept together! (nap).
So, what's the problem? Remember my knees? Walking normally takes cooperation between them, which has become problematic. The left knee is a braggart, always boasting that my pro wrestling finishing move, the shoulderbreaker, used him alone to land on, with the lazy SOB right knee no more than a spectator merely holding up who or whatever was supposedly getting a shoulder rearranged. Lefty also has surgery on his resume, the removal of a pesky cartilage that refused to remain faithfully in place.
The problem? They often refuse to obey the orders from above to at least attempt to coordinate what most ambulatory folks take for granted....walking! They also have different response times; Lefty often refuses to step even after his supposed partner has just moved alongside. I try to reason with them that standing is not included in any definition of walking that I can find, but they're very standoffish (sorry, couldn't resist) about it.
This sort of meandering, herky-jerky movement is an asset when with a cane, demonstrating that I truly need it... or should use it even if I don't! Pretend you're an onlooker and see this (still pretty hefty at 230lbs) big dude, man, bozo, you pick, with no visible means of support, basically lurching in your direction, wobbling from side to side, stopping and looking down at his feet as if they were going to burst into flame, then resuming the lurch? With a cane, just excellent! Without one, think about it or read again the above, what do we have here? We have a person who is either drunk to the passing out stage and/or stoned into an impending coma! Shoppers, especially females, who are exiting as I approach to enter, get one gander at me and do a sharp left or right turn to circle around the whateveritis. One lady turned around, cart and all, and hustled back into the store!
There's an easy cure, of course. I merely park in a spot, sometimes only inches from a shopping cart, positioning myself so that exit and stand up has the cart in push position before I need to take step one. I na na na na na na Lefty, and off we go. The system isn't failsafe. On Black Friday this year, the nearest cart I could use as my prop was a quarter mile from the store! Warm regards, stay well, best from Bob